Its official. According to an article in the Los Angeles Times last week, there are now more foreign contractors in Iraq than actual uniformed American servicemen. (Apparently they surged too.) In honor of this dubious milestone, I submit the following. Its funny, but not really when you stop and think about it. Remember that mercenaries have nothing to gain by war ending...

Plucked from a circulating e-mail and posted on a number of other sites, I share with you the mercenary creed:

I am a U.S. contractor. I look out for myself, the operators to my left and right, and no one else. I will always take advantage of the fact that I can finally tell military officers to pound sand, and will do so at every opportunity.

I am my country's scapegoat, the "plausible deniability" warrior, and I love it. Less than $700 dollars a day is unacceptable.

I am trained to eat things that would make a billy goat puke, but will refuse anything less than 60 dollars per diem because I am greedy.

I care not for ribbon's and awards for valor. I do this job for the opportunity to kill the enemies of my country, and to finally get that boat I've always wanted.

I will be in better shape than 99% of the active duty personnel, although this is not hard.

I will equip myself with the latest high speed gear, and will trick out my M4 until it weighs more than 24 lbs, not because it works better, but because it looks cool in the photographs.

I will carry more weapons, ammunition, and implements of death on my person, than an infantry fire team, and when engaged I will lay waste to everything around me.

In any combat zone, I will always locate the swimming pool, beer, and women, because I can.

I will deploy on my terms, and if it ever gets too stupid, I will simply find another company that pays me more.